


La Douleur Inutile

by hocotate



Series: Flashfics/drabbles [21]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Flash Fic, M/M, Suicide, layhan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 06:25:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11594781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hocotate/pseuds/hocotate
Summary: Luhan and Yixing had promised each other to survive this shit together.





	La Douleur Inutile

It was a night on which rain hung heavy over the city when Luhan unlocked the door to his flat and dragged his feet through the hallway whilst yawning. The clocks were already striking midnight when the sickly grey mass that was October clouds rolled in from the sea like a surge of quiet holocaust, shrouding whatever light had been there to soothe those whose eyes could not adjust to the darkness.  
  
It had so far been a night like any other of these days, and Luhan didn’t know yet that dawn would bring with it not some silly hope of that things would change, but questions and regret of having worked overtime.  
  
Yixing had always found it pleasurable to burn, like those many past flagellants who were satyrs in disguise and whose penchants for pain allowed them access to the heavens. He sought refuge in sickness as long as he could feel it, would pick tragedy over romance at any given day. Pigeons seemed scarier than razors and needles even during times when he would cry over blood, but although he liked to balance his life on the edge, he had always feared death more than anything else.  
  
Luhan knew that his best friend was crazy, that his biggest dream was to live forever, so never had he guessed that he would leave it all behind because of naive expectations that had ever since the beginning been doomed to break.  
  
Trailing over glass and permanent stains, specks of dust not visible at night, he found that the balcony door stood slightly ajar despite him having always been careful to shut it. It was a heavy sigh that spilt from his lips as he readied himself to start scolding Yixing, but quiet breaths gathered into a gasp when he swung the door open and stepped over the threshold.  
  
Narcotics and painkillers spread out sporadically across the concrete, an empty glass of wine beside a bottle of bleach with the label torn off, crumpled between fingers that were marked by cigarettes; Luhan needed only a split of a second to realise just what his best friend had done.  
  
“ _Don’t you dare,_ ” was what he shouted in a frenzy whilst shoving two fingers down a throat that had gone dry. “ _You stupid fucking, miserable little shit,_ ” were the words that echoed as Yixing remained still, as none of that poison or even blood got spat out and as palms started bruising a chest which wasn’t heaving.  
  
It was a nightmare so easily refused at first, the lack of breathing maniacally laughed away as just another dangerous theatrical. Nothing would change tonight or tomorrow in spite of Luhan having adopted some persistence, yet he used it, that very spirit, to shake the limp one until he, too, fell. There came no response even as he kept trying, still holding onto those recent promises of _getting through this shit together_.  
  
Pleas and curses became the melody of that night, cried into the rain and dissolved in torrents. Once mending hands reached out for cold ones, but Yixing’s eyes had been shut for hours and Luhan knew that it was already too late.

_  
The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none._

**Author's Note:**

> That very last line is an excerpt from Arthur Golden’s 'Memoirs Of A Geisha'.


End file.
